The Business of Names

On a route I often drive, there is a smoke shop called “Smoke ‘N’ More.”

How many seconds of thought did the owner put into that name?

But honest to God, the first time I saw the sign, out of the corner of my eye, as I drove by, I thought it said “The Smoking Whore,” which would be a totally cool name for a smoke shop. In fact, I’ll go out on a limb here and say, if I ever have a smoke shop, I’m going to call it “The Smoking Whore.”

As I’ve mentioned before, business names fascinate me, also, band names. And dog names.

My family has a favorite Chinese restaurant. It has the word “panda” in the name: Panda Garden. A quick Google search of Chinese restaurants with panda in the name brings back 696,000 hits. There are, according to Google, 18 Chinese restaurants with “panda” in the name in Houston alone. In addition to Panda Garden, there’s Panda Express (admittedly a chain), Panda City, Panda Kitchen, Panda Buffet, Panda Chinese Buffet and Café Panda Garden.

Probably to everyone else’s confusion, when my family refers to our favorite, Panda Garden (remember?), we call it “Fat Panda,” because we like that name better. If I ever have a Chinese restaurant, that’s what I’m going to call it.

I also have a name picked out if I ever have a rock band. It’s going to be “The Big Guns.” My husband’s will be “His Boy Elroy.” If you are actually a rock musician and are looking for a band name, you can take these. After all, neither my husband nor I even play an instrument, so it’s not looking like we’ll be starting a band anytime soon … or opening a smoke shop or a Chinese restaurant.

What business and band names do you have squirreled away?