When I was a kid, teachers handed out Unicef boxes at
school before Halloween. The idea was a child would either collect money for starving children or trick or treat for candy for their own selfish selves, but never
both.
I never understood why the two things had to be
connected, but when I said that, adults recoiled, staring, from their great
heights, down their noses at me. Clearly, I wasn’t just selfish, I was
shockingly selfish.
But I still don’t get it. It seems to me that this idea
that giving always has to involve sacrifice and always has to hurt, coming from whatever nasty
Puritan roots, causes people, including children, to be less giving, not more.
Others have noted the same thing, dubbing it the “feel good, do good phenomena.”
When my kids were small, I would give them whatever
quarters I had to put into the parking meters we passed that were
running low. They were so tickled to be able to do someone, an adult no less, a
good turn.
When my high-school daughter stays after school and wants
to walk to the Jack in the Box on the corner, she invites her
friends along, her treat. We think that's great and give her money to do it. Surprisingly few of
her friends carry money – another impediment to teens’ generosity. And nothing
is sadder than watching a voraciously hungry teenage boy grubbing in his pockets
for change, hoping to scrape enough together for a lousy candy
bar, only to realize he can't.
I believe if you give kids a few bucks, and much more
importantly, a sense of abundance rather than scarcity in their own lives, you’ll
be pleasantly surprised at how generous they can be.
Amen.
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