We had an elderly female relative, let’s call her Gracie,
who had always been embarrassed that she was older than her husband. She always lied about her age. When
Gracie died, my mom was the one who ordered her gravestone – and Mom gave the
monument company the birth date Gracie had always claimed, rather than her true
one.
Mom is one of the few people who visits another elderly
female relative, let’s call her Helen, in her nursing home. Helen, at 94,
doesn’t always know the difference between dream and reality. When my mom asks
her how she is, Helen will sometimes say, “Oh, wonderful. My mother was just
here to visit me.” To which my mother will reply, “Oh, that’s so nice, Helen.
And how is she?”
The last time Mom did this, Helen reported that her
mother had brought babka
and shared it with all the nurses, who said it was wonderful. Maybe my mom isn’t
the only one to embrace Helen’s version of truth.
In regular, daily life, I correct error without even
thinking about it. I think most people do. But it’s good to remember that everything
doesn’t always have to be 1,000% accurate.
In fact, sometimes being a liar is a wonderful thing to
do.
Its not lying, its validating.
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