I might like you to think that my reading material of
choice is The Economist and Nature, but really, it’s The National Enquirer.
I’m not alone in this. When we used to subscribe to The Enquirer (that bears repeating: we used to subscribe to The National Enquirer),
of all the people we knew, only one did not immediately grab it from our coffee
table and tear through it, oblivious to what was going on around them. And she’s
the most uptight person I’ve ever met.
I’d like you to think I always read literary fiction and
poetry but, in reality, I am a huge sucker for self-help books.
I might allow you to think that salads and steamed
vegetables are my foods of choice. No. I might grit my teeth and go with them,
but it’s the potato chips that I really want. Candy, too. In fact, a friend
just freaked me out when she mentioned she still had some Christmas candy left
over. Are you kidding me? Honestly, when people say, “I don’t like sweets,” I assume
they are lying.
I might tell you, “Oh, I don’t watch TV,” and that would
be true, but only because I can’t figure out how to work all our remotes. When I
can get a kid to turn on the television for me, however, I am happy to watch
marathons of “Cops,” “Hoarders” and “My 600-Pound Life.”
When I have my phone out in public, I’d like you to think
that I am a busy, connected person, doing a lot of important stuff. No. I am
most likely looking at slide shows of stupid tattoos or plastic surgery gone wrong or videos of what happens when squirrels steal Go Pro cameras.
That’s how I really roll.
There: I said it.
OMG. I've watched several episodes of "My 600 lb. Life." I'm always amazed how people can let themselves get into such horrible shape. I have to say, though, I come away from the show with an appreciation for being able to move about freely. For awhile anyway, I feel light as a feather. Maybe that's the attraction of stuff like this. We say to ourselves, "Boy, at least I'm not THAT bad!"
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