Crushes

[Wow, so this super-duper didn't age well. Avenatti was just sentenced to 14 years in prison (12/5/22) for embezzling millions of dollars from clients and Elon Musk has clearly lost his freaking mind.]
 

 [O.K., so this clearly didn't age well. Michael Avenatti, how could you?]

I know a woman who told her husband that she'd never cheat, except if Bruce Springsteen were a possibility, then all bets were off.

Who you have a crush on, like any all-time favorites list you might have, says something about you, I think.

My crushes, for example, make it pretty clear I’m liberal. Also, I like the good guys. And I like them smart. Also, fearless. And funny.

They are currently:

Michael Avenatti. I know, I know, he'd make a terrible boyfriend. I don't think he can turn that testosterone-fueled aggression and competitiveness off. Still, he and Stormy Daniels just might save the country.

Elon Musk. Yes, he's probably super-odd. Musk once asked a reporter how much time he should pencil in for a girlfriend: “How much time does a woman want a week? Maybe 10 hours?" Maybe it’s because I’m not that girlfriend, but I find that cluelessness in an otherwise super-genius kind of endearing.

And no, no crush of mine is about money. I’m not that practical; also, I’m not Melania Trump. (And I don't think even she likes Trump.)

It's just that Musk just might save the human race.

Jon Stewart. Nope, he's not on The Daily Show anymore, though many of his protégés continue what he started: Stephen Colbert, John Oliver, Trevor Noah. Maybe it's a matter of me imprinting like a baby duck on the first because it’s Jon Stewart who I have a crush on. And he is still around and kicking. Yay!

How about you? :)

Tony's Bucket List

Tony's always thinking.

It boggles my mind to think there are people who believe animals’ souls are not as good as ours, that  they don’t have emotions like ours and even that they don't feel pain.

Take Tony. (Please ... ba da dum.)

He feels Christmas-morning-level joy and excitement at least three times a day: Breakfast, Dinner and Walk.

He tries to do right. When I tell my husband that, he sputters, "No, he doesn't! He doesn't try at all." (To be fair, this is usually after Tony has peed on my husband's shoe out of excitement. Totally not Tony’s fault.)

As for barking at passers-by, chewing up our dish towels, getting into the recyclable bin, leaping up to nip our butts: he's trying to do right, he's just not sure what that is.

After all, getting after the recyclable stuff has become Tony's official job. You know how you are supposed to clean those jars and cans? I defy you to find a better, easier, more thorough way to clean that peanut-butter jar than to give it to a dachshund. For Tony, it's better than a Kong, and when he's done, it'll be pristine.

Tony’s Bucket List
1. To be eating, always.
2. Barring that, to chew and shake things to make sure they're dead: toys, socks, dish towels, pizzle sticks. (What's a pizzle stick, you ask?)
3. To be in a lap.
4. To pee and/or poop in the garage.
5. To be in a car. Doesn't matter where, or if, it's going anywhere.
6. The holy grail: To pee or poop in my husband's fancy car.
7. To be outside … or maybe inside … or maybe outside … or maybe inside ….
9. To catch the neighborhood possum. (He thinks.)

10. To be the boss of all he surveys.

Favorite Movies of All Time

All-time favorites – of anything, really, music, books, places you’ve been – are things that really made a lasting impression on you. And whenever you make a list of your all-time favorites of something, it ends up showing you something about yourself, I think.

So, movies.

The first movie that made my all-time list was Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid. That movie came out in 1969, when I was four. I didn't see it till it came out on television years later, when I was about 10 or 11, at just that age when I didn’t know whether I wanted to be the Sundance Kid or sleep with him. (My present-day self says, Why not both? And also now, I appreciate the charms of Butch as much, if not more.)

Next was Paper Moon, with Ryan O'Neil and a young Tatum O'Neil.

In college, we were all fascinated by The Big Chill.

I stole a tradition from a friend (Hi, Jared!) and now we always watch Moonstruck on Valentine's Day.

Speaking of holidays, for Halloween: Young Frankenstein (I don't do horror movies), for Christmas, A Christmas Story.

The Big Lebowski: My brother-in-law, in a stroke of genius, introduced this movie to our father-in-law.

The Hotel Budapest.

Raising Arizona.

I liked going to (most) children’s movies with my own kids. Some are amazingly good, like Shrek and Mulan.

And just recently, my daughter gave my husband Florence Foster Jenkins for Father's Day. Days later, I continue to think about this movie, based on a true story and so carefully written, acted and constructed.

So, I like funny movies, clever movies, movies with a touch of the absurd, movies in which the characters let their eccentricities all hang out.

Yeah, sounds about right.

What movies make your all-time list?