Tony's Bucket List

Tony's always thinking.

It boggles my mind to think there are people who believe animals’ souls are not as good as ours, that  they don’t have emotions like ours and even that they don't feel pain.

Take Tony. (Please ... ba da dum.)

He feels Christmas-morning-level joy and excitement at least three times a day: Breakfast, Dinner and Walk.

He tries to do right. When I tell my husband that, he sputters, "No, he doesn't! He doesn't try at all." (To be fair, this is usually after Tony has peed on my husband's shoe out of excitement. Totally not Tony’s fault.)

As for barking at passers-by, chewing up our dish towels, getting into the recyclable bin, leaping up to nip our butts: he's trying to do right, he's just not sure what that is.

After all, getting after the recyclable stuff has become Tony's official job. You know how you are supposed to clean those jars and cans? I defy you to find a better, easier, more thorough way to clean that peanut-butter jar than to give it to a dachshund. For Tony, it's better than a Kong, and when he's done, it'll be pristine.

Tony’s Bucket List
1. To be eating, always.
2. Barring that, to chew and shake things to make sure they're dead: toys, socks, dish towels, pizzle sticks. (What's a pizzle stick, you ask?)
3. To be in a lap.
4. To pee and/or poop in the garage.
5. To be in a car. Doesn't matter where, or if, it's going anywhere.
6. The holy grail: To pee or poop in my husband's fancy car.
7. To be outside … or maybe inside … or maybe outside … or maybe inside ….
9. To catch the neighborhood possum. (He thinks.)

10. To be the boss of all he surveys.