Often, they're the flailings of people who find themselves working in sales, desperately trying to steel themselves for rejection. Example: “The best is yet to BE!!” which I recently saw on the bottom of a business email.
However, I do have several that I’d like to use – on the bottom of emails, on voice mail, on a t-shirt, even on the welcome mat to my house, if only I had the guts.
On the bottom of my emails:
“Aw, fuck it. You win.”
From the song by Hanni El Kathib, which you can listen to here.
“If you can’t say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.”
Alice Roosevelt Longworth
This wouldn’t inspire confidence in the people I am trying to interview for magazine articles, though. But, really, I don’t trust people who refuse to say anything bad about anyone or anything. I figure that, sooner or later, they’re going to blow.
“Yippie ki yay, motherfucker, I’m a BIG deal!”
From the song “Fatty Boom Boom” by the group Die Antwoord.
As my voice-mail message:
“What fresh hell is this?!”
How the writer Dorothy Parker, in the days before voice mail, used to answer her phone.
(You’ve gotta know she would have loved the ability to screen.)
And what I’d like on the “welcome” mat to my house:
“Oh, happy freaking day, you’re here.”
On second thought, maybe I should keep my personal mottoes to myself.