Dog Poop

© Diana Thomson

Someday, archeologists are going to excavate our landfills and find millions of little plastic bags,
each one containing a single dog shit. (Also, millions of disposable diapers, each containing a single baby shit.)

What are they going to think?

If they surmise that we were fascinated by shit, they wouldn’t be entirely wrong, at least about some of us.

Three generations of my family play a game that could be called “Make the other person look at the pooping dog.” You are out somewhere with a companion. You see a dog shitting. You figure out a way to fool your companion into looking at the pooping dog. (“What kind of flower is that?” you might ask, pointing.) The goal is to get the other person to look in a way they can’t deny: they stopped and turned around, for instance.

My mother is the reigning champ at this game. One memorable day, she cried, “Look! A mother deer with two fawns!” My sister and I ran to the window … only to see our dog taking a dump in the yard.

This game is not easy. It takes a dog only seconds to shit; you’ve got to act fast. (And it is much less easy once people have learned that you are a weirdo who will do something like this.)

But we are not alone. Here, from a professional photographer, are “Dramatic Portraits of Dogs Pooping.” And here’s where you can order your 2014 “pooping dog” calendar. And this news story is about a researcher who recorded thousands of dog shits, to show that dogs – when they are fussing around with where to place their shits – may be trying to line them up with the magnetic forces of the earth. (Thanks, Yoram and Melissa.)