U.G.L.Y., You Ain’t Got No Alibi

So, not too long ago, I wrote here about a Christmas-tree ornament I had just purchased, which I was sure was the ugliest Christmas ornament ever made.



I no longer think this is so ugly.

But, then, last night, I visited a Wal-Mart.

(I was there only to pick up some emergency Scotch tape, honest.)

I turned a corner into another aisle – and my eyes hurt from the colors.

 Why would you ever, no matter how crazed from shopping, buy these ornaments?

The one thing a Christmas-tree ornament has to be is pretty.
 

And it’s not like you have to spend a lot to get them.

I can vividly remember my first Christmas tree, if only because it pretty much took up all of my first apartment. Truly. It was a studio apartment, and after hauling the tree in, I had a bad moment when I realized I wouldn’t be able to open up the sleeper sofa.

I had no ornaments, having spent all my money on tree, stand and lights.

(Can you tell that, at age 22, I wasn’t the best planner in the world?)

My best friend (hey, Jared!) came over for an evening of wine and making origami ornaments. That didn’t really work. We ended up crumpling up the origami paper and throwing it at the tree.

So then I made ornaments using that flour and salt dough you make when you’re a kid.

I still have some of these. They are hanging on my tree 25 years, a husband, two kids and seven moves later. And they make me smile when I see them in the ornament box every year.

It’s hard to imagine that happening with these Wal-Mart ornaments … although I am getting kind of attached to my ugly poodle ornament.